Thomasville, AL
The day rose and fell without
much movement from me. My bones ached and it was great having a place to sit
around and chill. Even though my body may not have been moving much, my mind
had plenty to do, straining hard to untangle the complicated social situation.
I have extreme loyalty to the folks who take me in and I wanted to understand
their lives, so much of which seems to be steeped in discord and difficulty.
The aides arrived this
morning to bathe Pat. It is hard to imagine the pressure of caring for a paralyzed
loved one. Pat has been debilitated for 4 years and rings a bell to summon
assistance. I tried speaking with him a couple times but he has retreated
inwards. I don’t blame him. When one’s connection to the outside world has been
cut off so abruptly and miserably, acknowledging its existence must sicken him.
Everything would be a reminder of loss. He must have come across the trapdoor
in the mind’s floor, opened the hatch and disappeared.
Brandi is a champion for
the young kids and she devotes great quantities of time and energy towards
helping out here even though she is a single mother with her own house, two
kids and a job. But today she is driving to Mobile where Jaime has produced her
third child. For the past two weeks Brandi has been staying with Perry and
Carol to help with the kids while Jaime’s been in the hospital, especially
Paisley who is the cutest little tot. She’s not quite 2. Paisley and her older
sister Kaitlyn are Jaime’s daughters. I didn’t get to know Jaime very well but
it was clear she is a central player in the strain the family is experiencing. None
of the fathers have much presence. She is currently unemployed. Jaime is also moving
back in with Perry and Carol with her three kids into a mobile home already
crowded with Carol’s mother Linda and disabled stepfather, Pat. Their situation
makes it all the more amazing that they invited me to stay. They are
unfailingly kind folks.
Perry is the sole
breadwinner in the household. Linda and Carol described how they subsist on
disability and Social Security checks. Having been appraised of their financial
situation, it shocked me to hear Jaime has stolen a substantial sum of money
from her parents.
More kids came today,
Kaylee and Alden and Brandi’s son Jakolbe aka Bam-Bam. All told we had Kaitlyn,
Chelsea, Bam-Bam, Kaylee, Alden and Paisley whom all the big kids look out for
and took care of. Kaitlyn and Chelsea can even change her diapers. The girls
sequestered themselves in their room as teenage girls are wont to do. They did
emerge at one point though with zombie make-up on their faces; they had been
making a scary movie! I spent several hours outside on the deck trying to catch
up on all the phone calls I’ve promised to friends and family but have been
unable to follow through on due to my phone’s lack of network service. It was
good talking to those I managed to reach though and I brought them my concerns
and puzzles I’ve been mulling over and I listened to theirs. I am always thinking
of my friends, wondering how they are and how I will manage to hold onto all of
them as I stretch myself across America.
Bam-Bam and Kaitlyn wearing the Get-Along Shirt! |
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